8 Sexy Things That Attract Men That You Might Not Know About

Men have the stereotype of being simple-minded pig-like horn-dogs, but the reality is, most men are much deeper and profound than we give them credit for. Yes, they love breasts, but it's not the udders that attract them. The tits are just PERKS.

Look in your inner closet (the one with the skeletons), and find something with deep personality cleavage that brings out the eyes into your mind.

The sexiest thing a woman can put on is confidence.

Don't be afraid to walk in a place alone like Cinderella showing up at the ball... all eyes on you. The walkway from the door to the bar is your best catwalk.

Don't be afraid to make eye contact with a guy, but do it sparingly. Eye contact is a game: tempt with some eye contact, and then make them wonder when you take it away... you know, like a cat wanting to go outside and back in.

Hold your head up. Push your tits out.

Believe in your awesome! You got what he wants and needs.

Do not fear rejection. When a man rejects a woman, it has nothing to do with the woman and everything to do with the man. He got issues. It's good he decided to dump them on someone else.

A Sense of Humor

Wit is an exceptional flirtation device. Laughter sends endorphins to the brain for the "feel good" effect. A great laughter connection is like a kiss or a hand hold, but between spirits.

If you want to impress a man, get a feel for his sense of humor and political identity first. You don't want to offend him.

If you are fishing to see if he's worth taking home, hit your political identity and see if he laughs when you mock the "other side." This is where his offense decides whether or not he's right for you.

If ever you say a bad joke and he doesn't laugh, start making fun of your ability to tell a joke. If he's still stand-offish, it's possible he has herpes and just doesn't want to get your hopes up. Let that one go.

A Smile

Positive face expressions rank higher in the finger scale than negative ones, so don't be pissy, bitchy, or depressed. Try to keep your mind positive and hopeful, and your face expressions will follow.

Don't use a fake smile. Nobody likes a fake smile except the asshole making it.

This doesn't mean you have to avoid negative things. In fact, sometimes that can work for you, "My puppy died," insert sad eyes, "I need a man to comfort me through this time of need..." However, anytime you say something negative, combat it with hope. For example, "I am so sad because my puppy died, but he's in heaven, and now I can save a dog from the shelter." Who wouldn't want hug you naked with that?


Contrary to mainstream behavior, men don't need to see your goodies. Men love cleavage, but it's not a requirement. Trust me, no matter what you are wearing, they are aware that you have breasts.

In fact, most men (and most people) love in possessive ways. True love frees people, but I get the concept of marriage is to possess each other for life. But the point is, your tits are a possession. No man wants to see you showing those off to other men. Men are such attention whores.

Still wear what you want to express yourself. That's you being you. There's nothing wrong with showing skin. For many women, showing skin makes them feel more confident, but make sure your insecurities aren't interfering with your sexy. For many others, showing skin part of their culture or subculture, and cultural expression is always good for people.


Men are rarely attracted to stick figures, and they don't want to feel like they might accidentally break you when they pound their pelvis your direction. Men are not afraid of fat rolls (they aren't that prissy), but studies show that men really prefer an hour glass shape. It doesn't matter how thick that hour glass is as long as there are curves.

In fact, when it comes to beauty and weight, generally in cultures where food is available everywhere, that society in particular prefers thin girls; and, in cultures where food is scarce, that society prefers thick girls. The ideal look has nothing to do with reality. It's all culture. And attraction happens regardless of size.

Some ways to improve curvature is pilates, yoga, situps, pushups and planking. You can also try girdles (ewww), padded bras, and high heels. Deep fried mozzarella sticks and chicken will go straight to your bum. Reducing stress will reduce stomach fat.

Healthy Skin

We tend to assume men prefer young women, and this is why most women will kill to stay young as long as possible. If only the fountain of youth was more than an illusion, like if that cream could really actually be age defying....

But what men really are attracted to is healthy women, and the skin is the primary indicator of health levels. That's why it appears that men prefer young women because they tend to have healthier skin with the least amount of care.

Drink water. Take vitamins (prenatals are awesome). Use lotion or olive oil.

Avoid tanning beds and overexposure to the sun, but get some sun as Vitamin D is awesome.

Ceramide is a magic potion that plumps and glows.


Men love scars, flaws, and blemishes. It's like reducing eye contact to make yourself less intimidating. Taylor Swift obviously has a personality flaw, like every man knows she's the black widow of all relationships, yet they still swarm her direction. It's not her blond hair attracting them. She's fucked up. They love that.

Don't be afraid to show them what's wrong with you, but don't overkill with it. They love the scar, but a broken bone sticking out of your arm gushing blood everywhere is too much (for the most part, but if your bones are metaphorically sticking out like that, find a guy with a small dick and a hero complex, and you are set).

Replace Cleavage with Breast Milk

Have you ever wondered why men are attracted to boobs? Think about it. Put fat on your chest and they drool. Put it on your stomach, and not so much.

It's not the breast they want. It's the breast milk. NOT LITERALLY (well not for most men anyway, some like that). Women grow up looking for men who do father things like protect them, provide resources... Men grow up looking for women who do mother things like nurture (like breastfeeding).

With all that said, you will hit their heart harder than a cleavage filled strip tease by kissing their boo boo, or at least showing some concern for it. Have you ever seen a man with the man flu? A little sniffle will drop a man to the fetal position in need of chicken soup and a thousand other annoying things. They are the whiniest creatures when in need of their mommy.

This is why men love women who can cook, keep house, dress a wound, play with his hair, be supportive, make goals for them, wake them up in the mornings... Things moms do for their sons, men will eat that right out of your hand.

Warning. If you mommy a boyfriend too much, he'll get lazy, and like every son does his mother, take you for granted and not show appreciation for all your sacrifices. Find a happy medium between taking care of each other.

Men are really deep creatures underneath who they think they are. Well, all people are that way, and in fact, this post will attract women too.

Keep in mind, I have mainly focused on the simple attractions between people. NONE of this is going to help you build a solid relationship with someone. This just helps you get laid... or at least get your foot in the door for something more serious.

Remember... You are allowed to turn down the men. Attracting them and throwing them back in the sea in the same hour can be sadistically empowering. Just don't lead them on sexually unless you intend to sex. Men take sexual disappointment personal.

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Michelle Grewe

Humor and Spiritual Writer and Graphic Artist, Michelle Grewe is an Air Force Veteran, mother, and a human jungle gym. Published in 7 Books, Michelle’s art is featured in her coloring book designed for spirituality and mental health, From Dust to Essence. Websites who have featured her work include Popsugar Moms, Mamalode, and Blunt Moms. Her nonsense actually does make sense if you drink enough vodka and pray. Find her on

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