10 Dating Rules to Protect Your Heart and Still Have Fun

Dating is mainly strings of meaningless relationships in a search for the kind of man you want and need. Sometimes we just date to amuse ourselves knowing we aren't looking for a relationship. Regardless of the reasons to date, the following dating rules will help you date in ways to enjoy yourself while protecting your heart and future.

Dating Rules 1: Do Open Relationships

Dating is a Prelude to Commitment, not a commitment. Allow yourself to shop around. Monogamous relationships come with a huge opportunity cost. Prince Charming may never take you on a date because you were with the Don Quixote of knights instead (an idiot in tin foil). It's just too huge a risk to waste on someone you don't know well enough to know what he is going to be to you some day.

Meanwhile, men are suckers for reverse psychology. Tell him he can see other women and most won't.

Not to mention, we women sometimes get excited about a new man because meat is best eaten fresh. Resisting the urge to call too soon is so much easier when you have another date to amuse you for that 3 day waiting period (another rule you don't actually have to follow in the dating rules).

If you lose a guy because you found something better, good job. If you lose a guy because he found someone better, it was inevitable anyway.

Dating Rules 2: Give Yourself Deadlines

No need to commit to a man you know you aren't going to marry. Why do that to yourself? Don't stick around just because there isn't an obvious reason to leave like a big fight or he cheats.

Pick a time limit to find out if he's good enough for a real commitment (my time was an average of 3 months), and if he is, change the relationship from open status to a closed relationship. If he isn't, stop returning calls.

Dating Rules 3: Get Freebies

Look, if you aren't in love, then you might as well be in it for the money or some other spiritually worthless thing that is physically awesome. This isn't gold diggerism. You are not looking for an old, ugly man to marry for his wealth and life insurance policy. This is just adding a little hood rich to your meaningless relationships.

If he is willing to pay for these things, go get them. Free steaks, little shopping sprees, travel... Let him wine and dine you and impress you with his assets.

If money isn't his thing, still aim for freebies. He can rub your back and feet while you watch that movie. He can clean out your car or watch your kids once in a while. At the very least, he can provide the weed for nights out on the town.

The trick is to find something useful out of useless men. It's not immoral. It's common business sense to take something useless and give it some utility, otherwise, quit investing time into it.

Don't let him use this as a means to sleep with him. Use him for sex if that's what you want from him, but don't think just because he gave you steak that you are required to sleep with him. If he wants a whore, he can buy those outright on the streets of Vegas.

Dating Rules 4: Find the Flaws

Of all the dating rules, this one is great advice because we often lock ourselves into relationships and THEN discover flaws we didn't notice in the dating. Men lie on dates like everyone lies in job interviews, so you are going to have to read in between the lines and ask yourself why he is single.

Look for the flaws in a man before looking for strengths. Always search for what's wrong with him, and decide if you can live with that because most men don't change without years of patience and persistence. True love loves a man for his flaws.

Sometimes it's not a flaw but just a feature you can't live with. For instance, I dated a Marine who put the Marine Corps first in his life. I love him for doing that, but I needed a man who puts me first in life.

If you can't live with a flaw, get rid of him before you are tempted to try to change him.

Dating Rules 5: Get rid of the Dead

Some men are dead ends, and others are dead beats, and there are plenty of both in the mix looking for something worth your time.

Dead end men are the type who will hold you back in some way. Sometimes they mock you into losing your self-esteem, and other times, they are living with mom with no hope of a career. Dead end men are sofa dwellers, controlling, possessive, self-absorbed, OR something of the likes. They drain you of your energy and inspire you to fail.

Dead beats are worse than dead end men. They are abusive or neglectful. If you can call CPS and describe how your man treats you like he treats kids that way, and CPS thinks there's something wrong with that, there's probably something wrong with that. You are probably with a dead beat. Get rid of him. The sooner the better. Don't look back like you'll turn into a pillar of salt if you do.

Dating Rules 6: Look for Your Dream Father of your Children

Of the dating rules, this is probably the most important dating rule out there. Don't sleep with a man you don't want to father your children. Also, get to know where he stands on Pro-Life and Pro-Choice before wrapping your legs around his meat packages.

If you end up having children with him, whether intentional or accidental, you want someone who is going to be a good dad and not leave you in the dust with diapers and money. You can do it without the help, but why would you? It sucks. Don't set yourself up for things that suck.

Dating Rules 7: Know the Difference between Love and Attachment

Falling in love is different than falling in need. Love is something that happens over time, like a series of years, after the honeymoon phase of the relationship.

Attachment (falling in need) happens early on for reasons you don't understand and because of that, looks like love. But attachments are not love. They are based on fear of loneliness or a need for an extra hand, or some reason that isn't the most noble of reasons. Because attachments are dangerous to your heart, this is a dating rule you don't want to ignore.

Dating Rules 8: Know the Difference between an Illusion and what's Real

Sometimes we need Wonderland. Life sucks, and ever so often, we truly need a Prince Charming break. That's ok. Find a loser and pretend he's a Prince, but remember it's pretend. The moment you start thinking it's real, get out. Don't wait.

A lot of females do this by accident. Beware. Don't do this. Don't fall for an illusion of a man, where you think he's something better than what he is. Sometimes we fall for who we want him to be, and who he could be, without waiting to see who he truly is.

Datings Rule 9: Be Available, but not Too Available

Men are complicated when it comes to getting them to show up to their scheduled dates and calling you back.

Men love to chase, so if you are too available, they will find someone else. But men are also lazy. If you are too inconvenient, they will find someone else... and they think women are complicated. Find a balance.

Never call him without a 3 day waiting period. Let him go from, "She's going to call and annoy me" to "Is she going to call?" to "Why wouldn't she call?" before you call.

Dating Rules 10: Play with your Food

Again, men love to chase, and mom always said to "Play hard to get," but don't be too hard to get. Saying no when you mean yes is the reason why some men rape under a false assumption of consent with the next woman. But don't open your legs and beg for it.

The Secret to Amazing Sex is to play with your food. Wait for the right time. If you are going to drink a man, wait until you are so thirsty you want it like water in a desert. If you are going to kiss him, wait until you are both creaming your panties for that kiss. Tease yourself.

Men often compare sexual stages to baseball: getting to first base, and then second. Don't let him walk or steal a base. Make him work for his home run.

There really are no real dating rules. These are just tidbits of advice to help you amuse yourself (open and useful despite the lack of love) and protect yourself (avoid getting involved with the wrong man). Don't be afraid to be yourself, but don't be afraid to love and respect yourself.

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Michelle Grewe

Humor and Spiritual Writer and Graphic Artist, Michelle Grewe is an Air Force Veteran, mother, and a human jungle gym. Published in 7 Books, Michelle’s art is featured in her coloring book designed for spirituality and mental health, From Dust to Essence. Websites who have featured her work include Popsugar Moms, Mamalode, and Blunt Moms. Her nonsense actually does make sense if you drink enough vodka and pray. Find her on

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